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Vulnerability. Denial.I cannot, wait, for Saturday.Gossip girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. Wait, make that Singapore. Oh, the shock.Oh, the scandal.
and today everyone in class was being ridiculously up in arms about the whole swine flu thing. the whole day certain people were moaning and making a big fuss out of everything. just go away keep quiet and concentrate on math we're not gonna die ok. i don't feel like going to school anymore. there are times you want to crawl into bed, plug in your ipod and not get out for months on end. this is one of those times. school is so uninspiring. but on another note, interviews are ongoing now. mine's this thursday. but it's ok fedele we'll pull through ily all loads and loads. oh, and some people just HAVE to be so, awfully, annoyingly stalkerish. it's freaking me out. but i can't bring myself to do it again, so i guess i hafta live with it. but i mean really, stop acting like you're so close to me when you're obviously not. i'm trying to be nice, but you're making it so hard. I'm looking for someone who won't pretend; somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you. because everyone's just, so, hypocritical. idk who to trust anymore. 
math's coming on thursday and i am totally, totally unprepared. everyone else says so too, but i bet they secretly study at home but wail in school. plus they're all freaking smart and they all understand what's going on in class but i don't. doesn't help that i have a ton of math things to do because i missed class or just couldn't keep up. this is really bad. i can't fail math again. and omg over the weekend i had 7 FAs. crazy. so much to do, way too little time. burnout is this close.
So, it's all over. 5 months of work, ended today. And we all know what the result is, and yes, we cried. There isn't really much to say about it right now.
We're disappointed, yes. We feel like we could've done better, yes. Maybe the judges were unfair? Or maybe we really just weren't as good. Or maybe they were just comparing us, because honestly, it is inconvenient to have _______ choir doing Word Game just before us. We can't change anything though, and crying anymore won't help. But as long as we know we gave it our all; and I'm sure many of us enjoyed ourselves, if not all of us. All nauseous with excitement right, that morning. And now, we feel like there's nothing to look forward to anymore. There isn't even concert this year. I mean yeah, there's Arts Fest but it isn't the same. It isn't Uniquely Ours.
To the littlest ones of this SYF: Tabitha, Daniella and Daphne. Hopefully you guys have enjoyed this experience as much as we did. And this being your very first year in choir, it's good exposure. We're sorry as seniors if maybe we didn't guide you well enough or feel that we included you or integrated you guys enough. So sorry. SYF prep has been like whoa, really fast and time-consuming and has basically been our one and only target. But we're having a party for you guys this Friday, so look forward to it :D
To the omg-awesomeness-often-reta
To the awesomest-ever-senoirs, our ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Sec 4s: Chloe, Zongmin, Jovina, Si Rui, Janelle, Varsha, Qi Qi, Sheena, Bernice and Shze Hui. Thank you all so much for being there for us, for supporting us all through and for being amazing. Your batch has been so pro ok all of you have awesome voices too and are so committed to choir. This is your last SYF, but definitely shouldn't be the deciding factor in whether you guys have done a good job or not (like what Suet said). And especially for Chloe and Zongmin; you guys have been super wonderful conductors and choir chairs. And you gave it your all and have done so much for us, we can never ever say how much we love you guys. You've left our batch some really, big shoes to fill D: But it's ok we'll rise to the occasion cos' we're RGCHOIR AREN'T WE :D :D :D
And of course, to my ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ (10 hearts for batch 10!) batch: Amanda, En-Ting, Grace Tan, Giovanni, Cheryl, May, Azura, Pris, Carly, Grace Kong, Dionne, Stef, Mengdi and Yvonne, I cannot say how much I love all of you, and how wonderful you guys have made my life. Like seriously I think you guys would know right, somehow we feel close to breaking down cos' of school work and stuff, but you know that our choir batch is always there. And somehow the choir room is like this haven, where it's just music and passion and love and bondedness and this unspoken togetherness. And well done this year because we all made it to SYF :D And we better start working really hard cos' the Sec 4s have left us really big shoes to fill. But we'll pull through. And OMG WE ARE SO BRINGING ITSUKI BACK NEXT YEAR. I don't care, we must. AT ALL COSTS. If not I'll just cry and quit choir. Which is not possible, so we ARE going to bring it back.
And I don't know how many of you cried this morning when they announced over the PA system our results. I did. And omg this morning when we were all gathered in the foyer, it was so emotional. But we mustn't cry anymore ok, stay strong :D But I have no more tears to cry for the next five years or so, I think I spent them all already. AND DID YOU GUYS READ MY STATUS AND CLAIRE'S EMAIL :D :D :D We get to wear papers on our back saying ILY RGCHOIR and random things like that SO PLEASE BE SPONTANEOUS and ENTHU and SHOW YOUR LOVE FOR CHOIR :D
And last of all, to be honest, I think we're one of the most emotionally bonded CCAs, ever. Like Chloe said in her letter, "We all have a heart, a heart that has feelings, cos we've all been through laughter, tears, joy, pain, sorrow and grief, and we have so much bottled in us that when everything comes up, we create magic." I suggest you guys go reread Chloe and Zongmin's letters to us and cry be inspired. Ok I admit, I cried while rereading it. And seeing all of your PM's on MSN and FB and all, it's just so touching that you guys are head over heels in love with choir and all this magic we share. Ok I've said enough I'm sorry this is long and rambly. But basically:
I love you all, so keep singing for the ♥ of music.
3 days to awesomeness. we are totally going to blow the judges away, not with our airy voices but with our Wild Summer Seas and Drunken Village Chiefs and Saint Mary. i love rgchoir to bits. i cannot actually imagine life without choir. and suddenly i'm feeling this rush of hope for choir. i thought we were gonna be really screwed before; we were 4 pracs away and we hadn't started Word Game. but yesterday's prac was really good, so was today's. there was so much energy and we're feeling the songs so, much, more. choreo is really cute THE JUDGES WILL BE IMPRESSED. it's definitely not the same as sec 1; i mean itsuki was different. it was definitely emo and sad and melancholic and everything and everything. but this year's songs are wonderful too. and i've come to love Word Game though I hated it before. and our set piece isn't that lame. well the lyrics were at first but we totally brought it to life and interpreted it quite well i think, and the dynamics for that song are really great. and oh the other day ms loo showed us this blog where some random people go to watch the SYF performances for every single choir omg and then they post all about it, results and comments and all. even if you were lousy, they still post about how lousy you were. so there's pressure pressure pressure. but you know what we'll pull through we can do it there's no looking back. i rmb in sec 1 the day before SYF, we were super lousy i think it was the stress or sth our pitching went out and we weren't emoting enough and we had this pep talk from stace and shiao. but the next day we shone. literally, because although gold sparkles, gold with honours shines like WOW. omg i am feeling this sudden bout of emotion for choir; all the times we've had for concerts (awesome times) and sec 1 SYF and random school performances and all. and how much fun we have backstages or just during normal prac with all the lame things that happen ms loo's weird actions retarded seniors/batchmates/juniors oh my i miss our alternate batch now too and i could gush on and on, but basically,RGchoir lovelovelove you all ♥ ♥ ♥(18 days :D)
busybusybusybusybusycrazybusybusybusybusybusybusybusy.it's 7 days to syf stress stress stress we're not sounding that great we really need to work on it but im sure we'll pull through. i found out im dept. i/c for decor for the pb 60th homecoming lunch in july, so we need to start planning. i'm in charge of our shoebag collaboration thing with RI and the rgs130 rafflesian products umbrella thing. so much, so much. and i might be asked to do designs for the proposed new RGS vest to replace our blazers. and math ga on partial fractions is this thursday, someone save me. math ppa is 29th april, too soon D: and all my exams are coming. my pile of math worksheets is a mile high, and i don't get bio. chinese is like #)&%^$* and hist geog are like mug till you drop kind of things. i feel so stressed right now i want to scream and sleep and not wake up for school. I WANT TO PRETEND THE WORLD IS PRETTY AND JOYOUS AND I DON'T HAVE ANY WORRIES AT ALL. but i cant. utter rubbish.on a lighter, happier note, 22 DAYS TO AWESOMENESS :)
