Wednesday, July 15, 2009
6:19 PM
moved.
alteregosaffy.livejournal.com
Monday, May 18, 2009
clique that. 10:49 PM
There's the guy who just goes with whatever life brings. Floats along from place to place. To him, everyone's nice. He's nice to everyone. He's shy. He's quiet. He's simple. He thinks in black and white. But he's so cute. He's like the ultimate innocence factor.
And then there's the guy who's so perfect. You want to be jealous of him and hate him for his perfection, but he's so nice you feel guilty. He listens to whatever you rant about. He's everyone's best friend. He's so nice it hurts. It's a love-hate relationship.
Then there's the guy who thinks he's cool. He styles his hair and acts like he owns the world. He's the typical jock type – plays the drums and electric guitar, great at sports, and everyone thinks he's so hot. He is. And he knows it. He's just so annoyingly attractive.
Not forgetting the guy who is slightly different from the other guys. He's sensitive and emotional. He can't stand sports. Art is life to him. But he's not a freak, not a nerd. Just more in touch with his emotions than most other guys.
Of course there's the queen bee. She's popular and glamorous and confident. She teases the guys and gossips with the girls. She's never shy. She's sarcastic; but that makes her fun to talk to. She dresses amazingly. She's gorgeous. The only problem? Jealousy.
Then there's the boy-crazy one. Flirting incessantly, mostly unsuccessfully. Desperate. Texting them all day; writing their names everywhere. She pretends she knows all about them, and acts like she's their best friend. Wait, make that girlfriend.
And the mysterious, slightly absent-minded one. Not so in touch with the girls, completely oblivious to the guys. She's the emo-song-and-poem-writing type. Not that her clothes show it. She dresses normally, but hardly talks to people. She's intriguing.
Last of all, the girl-next-door. She's thoughtful and kind and considerate and polite. She's never rude, never insulting, never teasing. She's not awfully pretty; she's just sweet. Demure; gentle. Every finishing school's dream student. Everyone loves her. Or do they?
But obviously everything's not what it seems. There's jealousy and betrayal and oh, my gosh, girlfights.
Buckle up then, because the higher you are, the harder you fall.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
4:53 PM
you're the queen of the superficial, how long before you tell the truth?
{♥ 3 days.}
Friday, May 1, 2009
1:01 PM
like, whatever. as if i care.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
oh, the scandal. 11:34 PM
Vulnerability.
Denial.
I cannot, wait, for Saturday.
Gossip girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.
Wait, make that Singapore.
Oh, the shock.
Oh, the scandal.
something's gotta give. 5:49 PM
math's coming on thursday and i am totally, totally unprepared. everyone else says so too, but i bet they secretly study at home but wail in school. plus they're all freaking smart and they all understand what's going on in class but i don't. doesn't help that i have a ton of math things to do because i missed class or just couldn't keep up. this is really bad. i can't fail math again. and omg over the weekend i had 7 FAs. crazy. so much to do, way too little time. burnout is this close.
and today everyone in class was being ridiculously up in arms about the whole swine flu thing. the whole day certain people were moaning and making a big fuss out of everything. just go away keep quiet and concentrate on math we're not gonna die ok. i don't feel like going to school anymore. there are times you want to crawl into bed, plug in your ipod and not get out for months on end. this is one of those times. school is so uninspiring. but on another note, interviews are ongoing now. mine's this thursday. but it's ok fedele we'll pull through ily all loads and loads.
oh, and some people just HAVE to be so, awfully, annoyingly stalkerish. it's freaking me out. but i can't bring myself to do it again, so i guess i hafta live with it. but i mean really, stop acting like you're so close to me when you're obviously not. i'm trying to be nice, but you're making it so hard.
I'm looking for someone who won't pretend; somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you.
because everyone's just, so, hypocritical. idk who to trust anymore.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
rgchoir♥♥♥ttm. 11:50 PM
So, it's all over. 5 months of work, ended today. And we all know what the result is, and yes, we cried. There isn't really much to say about it right now.
We're disappointed, yes. We feel like we could've done better, yes. Maybe the judges were unfair? Or maybe we really just weren't as good. Or maybe they were just comparing us, because honestly, it is inconvenient to have _______ choir doing Word Game just before us. We can't change anything though, and crying anymore won't help. But as long as we know we gave it our all; and I'm sure many of us enjoyed ourselves, if not all of us. All nauseous with excitement right, that morning. And now, we feel like there's nothing to look forward to anymore. There isn't even concert this year. I mean yeah, there's Arts Fest but it isn't the same. It isn't Uniquely Ours.
To the littlest ones of this SYF: Tabitha, Daniella and Daphne. Hopefully you guys have enjoyed this experience as much as we did. And this being your very first year in choir, it's good exposure. We're sorry as seniors if maybe we didn't guide you well enough or feel that we included you or integrated you guys enough. So sorry. SYF prep has been like whoa, really fast and time-consuming and has basically been our one and only target. But we're having a party for you guys this Friday, so look forward to it :D
To the omg-awesomeness-often-retarded-but-lovable Sec 2s: Claire, Bianche, Sabrina, Churen, Jodyn, Victoria, Mich, Emeline and Chengyi. Your batch is so, retarded. But you guys have been awesome. Supporting my batch and the Sec 4s this whole time. And you guys are so humble and gracious and have such awesome voices. And they say things like alternate batches are closest of all, but I think somehow you guys are Different. Or maybe my batch is just as high/crazy/retarded so we bond. And please, please don't feel like you guys have let us down; you didn't. In fact you guys made us so, so proud. And you made us cry loads too. You guys have another chance in Sec 4, and although yeah we feel like seriously there isn't much more we could've done and we still got this result only, the fact of the matter is that there are other things to be considered too. There's only so much we can do. The rest is up to the judges, the circumstances, the moods, the other schools and all that other shizz. We still ♥ you loads and loads and loads though.
To the awesomest-ever-senoirs, our ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Sec 4s: Chloe, Zongmin, Jovina, Si Rui, Janelle, Varsha, Qi Qi, Sheena, Bernice and Shze Hui. Thank you all so much for being there for us, for supporting us all through and for being amazing. Your batch has been so pro ok all of you have awesome voices too and are so committed to choir. This is your last SYF, but definitely shouldn't be the deciding factor in whether you guys have done a good job or not (like what Suet said). And especially for Chloe and Zongmin; you guys have been super wonderful conductors and choir chairs. And you gave it your all and have done so much for us, we can never ever say how much we love you guys. You've left our batch some really, big shoes to fill D: But it's ok we'll rise to the occasion cos' we're RGCHOIR AREN'T WE :D :D :D
And of course, to my ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ (10 hearts for batch 10!) batch: Amanda, En-Ting, Grace Tan, Giovanni, Cheryl, May, Azura, Pris, Carly, Grace Kong, Dionne, Stef, Mengdi and Yvonne, I cannot say how much I love all of you, and how wonderful you guys have made my life. Like seriously I think you guys would know right, somehow we feel close to breaking down cos' of school work and stuff, but you know that our choir batch is always there. And somehow the choir room is like this haven, where it's just music and passion and love and bondedness and this unspoken togetherness. And well done this year because we all made it to SYF :D And we better start working really hard cos' the Sec 4s have left us really big shoes to fill. But we'll pull through. And OMG WE ARE SO BRINGING ITSUKI BACK NEXT YEAR. I don't care, we must. AT ALL COSTS. If not I'll just cry and quit choir. Which is not possible, so we ARE going to bring it back.
And I don't know how many of you cried this morning when they announced over the PA system our results. I did. And omg this morning when we were all gathered in the foyer, it was so emotional. But we mustn't cry anymore ok, stay strong :D But I have no more tears to cry for the next five years or so, I think I spent them all already. AND DID YOU GUYS READ MY STATUS AND CLAIRE'S EMAIL :D :D :D We get to wear papers on our back saying ILY RGCHOIR and random things like that SO PLEASE BE SPONTANEOUS and ENTHU and SHOW YOUR LOVE FOR CHOIR :D
And last of all, to be honest, I think we're one of the most emotionally bonded CCAs, ever. Like Chloe said in her letter, "We all have a heart, a heart that has feelings, cos we've all been through laughter, tears, joy, pain, sorrow and grief, and we have so much bottled in us that when everything comes up, we create magic." I suggest you guys go reread Chloe and Zongmin's letters to us and cry be inspired. Ok I admit, I cried while rereading it. And seeing all of your PM's on MSN and FB and all, it's just so touching that you guys are head over heels in love with choir and all this magic we share. Ok I've said enough I'm sorry this is long and rambly. But basically:
I love you all, so keep singing for the ♥ of music.
Friday, April 17, 2009
rgchoirlovelovelove♥ 10:19 PM
3 days to awesomeness. we are totally going to blow the judges away, not with our airy voices but with our Wild Summer Seas and Drunken Village Chiefs and Saint Mary. i love rgchoir to bits. i cannot actually imagine life without choir. and suddenly i'm feeling this rush of hope for choir. i thought we were gonna be really screwed before; we were 4 pracs away and we hadn't started Word Game. but yesterday's prac was really good, so was today's. there was so much energy and we're feeling the songs so, much, more. choreo is really cute THE JUDGES WILL BE IMPRESSED. it's definitely not the same as sec 1; i mean itsuki was different. it was definitely emo and sad and melancholic and everything and everything. but this year's songs are wonderful too. and i've come to love Word Game though I hated it before. and our set piece isn't that lame. well the lyrics were at first but we totally brought it to life and interpreted it quite well i think, and the dynamics for that song are really great.
and oh the other day ms loo showed us this blog where some random people go to watch the SYF performances for every single choir omg and then they post all about it, results and comments and all. even if you were lousy, they still post about how lousy you were. so there's pressure pressure pressure. but you know what we'll pull through we can do it there's no looking back. i rmb in sec 1 the day before SYF, we were super lousy i think it was the stress or sth our pitching went out and we weren't emoting enough and we had this pep talk from stace and shiao. but the next day we shone. literally, because although gold sparkles, gold with honours shines like WOW. omg i am feeling this sudden bout of emotion for choir; all the times we've had for concerts (awesome times) and sec 1 SYF and random school performances and all. and how much fun we have backstages or just during normal prac with all the lame things that happen ms loo's weird actions retarded seniors/batchmates/juniors oh my i miss our alternate batch now too and i could gush on and on, but basically,
RGchoir lovelovelove you all ♥ ♥ ♥
(18 days :D)
Monday, April 13, 2009
crazystressbusyflopdie. 10:08 PM
busybusybusybusybusycrazybusybusybusybusybusybusybusy.
it's 7 days to syf stress stress stress we're not sounding that great we really need to work on it but im sure we'll pull through. i found out im dept. i/c for decor for the pb 60th homecoming lunch in july, so we need to start planning. i'm in charge of our shoebag collaboration thing with RI and the rgs130 rafflesian products umbrella thing. so much, so much. and i might be asked to do designs for the proposed new RGS vest to replace our blazers. and math ga on partial fractions is this thursday, someone save me. math ppa is 29th april, too soon D: and all my exams are coming. my pile of math worksheets is a mile high, and i don't get bio. chinese is like #)&%^$* and hist geog are like mug till you drop kind of things. i feel so stressed right now i want to scream and sleep and not wake up for school.
I WANT TO PRETEND THE WORLD IS PRETTY AND JOYOUS AND I DON'T HAVE ANY WORRIES AT ALL.
but i cant. utter rubbish.
on a lighter, happier note, 22 DAYS TO AWESOMENESS :)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Angel of Music 11:37 PM
MUMMY IS DOWNSTAIRS WATCHING PHANTOM OF THE OPERA WHILE I AM STUCK UP HERE DOING HOMEWORK THIS IS NOT FAIRRRRR
but im like singing along while working :D but i love love love love love Phantommmm omg. but the movie's not as good as the musical i think and the original cast like sarah brightman and michael crawford are loads better i love brightman's voice. esp in the song Phantom of the opera the part where she does her high shrieky thing and ohman i remember in sec 1 on my birthday mummy bought the super ex tickets for us to go watch Phantom at the esplanade. and how i cried and cried when the Phantom was like left all alone while christine and raoul rowed off and OMG CALM DOWN.
ok i must continue working now. but the music is SO, distracting.
saturday come fasterrrr 7:08 PM
Pink Fluffy Strapless Dress: $100+
Cute shoes: $70
Accessories and stuff: $50+++
Seeing Cheng Lynn in a dress: Priceless.
There are some things money can't buy,
For everything else, there's Raffles.
Koped off the FB group I WANT TO SEE CHENG LYNN IN A DRESS. omg funnyyyy i tell you. lynn go wear a dress for prom we shall dress you up and LOAD you with makeup hahaha. and we will take pictures and act like paparazzi we'll snap every shot possible regardless of glam factor. and then we will spam fb upload them all jam the whole system because there are too many photos of lynn omg. potato sack madness.
anyway. school's been ok but there's nothing to look forward to everyday it's just lessons lessons lessons. saturday come quickly please D: D: D:
on a lighter note, i made it :) thank You God because i know i couldn't have done it without You. to those who might, jia you k there's another round of audits you can do it! and for those who didn't, it's ok, RGchoir still loves you and we'll be behind you all the way. besides, there's more to life than just this. to those who did, YAY :D
i am suddenly so inspired for fashion cluster and my barbie doll dress and everything oh man. i wish school work was all like this. and i love doing research for FC cos it gives me an excuse to look at prettyyyy ads and pictures from all those posh brands.
k gtg do work. i am just not inspired to do homework psssht.
Monday, March 23, 2009
and it's all gone, just like that. 6:24 PM
and the holidays are like, WHOOSH. and it's all over.
BOARD CAMP WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS. i miss it so, so much D: can't wait till next year's. oh man i LOVE PB AWESOMELY MUCH and camp and the dancing and the food and the random screaming and night maze and the stupid shutter movie and the after meal highness where we sang all those songs like CHECK YES JULIET (lovelovelove) and all our instructors who ran across the field after the bus as we were leaving that made us cry ohmygoodness. I WANT BOARD CAMP ALL OVER AGAIN.
anyway after that i went to bintan with the family and I TANNED. like, HAHAHA I FINALLY AM NOT SO WHITE ANYMORE. but it'll probably fade. but i hope not i don't wanna look like some random vamp-ish person with white skin and all again.
i survived monday. with much pain and effort. but today was not good. such a lethargic day. and so much work to do. gotta rush fashion cluster geog chinese bio by tomorrow D: oh but cheer prac was fun, thankfully.
this time i need a soldier; a really bad ass soldier
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
but life goes on. 5:53 PM
Used to be so close. So, close. Inseparable. Calls everyday. Laughing; sharing secrets. Knew everything about each other. You'd come over to my house every other week, don't you remember. I do.
But somehow, somewhere along the line, people change. We changed. I changed. I made new friends. You made new friends too. I left you behind; so you say. Everyone around me seemed to know I was changing. But I didn't know then. And I kept telling myself that we'd always be inseparable; that somehow or other we'd be there for each other. And year after year we think we're growing as friends when we've only drifted further apart.
I don't know how I feel about it anymore. I know what I should do, but somehow it seems so hard. We hardly ever have anything to talk about anymore. And we can make the effort, but anyone can see it's forced. I know we used to call each other Best Friends. But were we, really? Or was that just something temporary? Because now, honestly, I don't feel that way anymore.
I always feel so fake when I'm with you. And maybe that's why I give my time to all my other commitments; so when you ask if I have time, I don't.
Excuses, excuses.
The thing is, I don't really want to move on. I'm selfish too. People tell me I should keep my friendship with you because it's Precious and Important. And I know how selfless you can be. But I don't think I click with you anymore. You hang out with people I don't click with either. And by the way, you're hanging out with someone you used to dislike. Hate actually. You told me not to get too close to her, and that she wouldn't make a good friend. And now, you go out with her; spend time with her. Her, of all people.
I know, the irony hurts. Definitely. I want to tell you that I want to move on, and just stay with all those memories when we were younger. But I can't bring myself to. Although I think now it's already something not openly acknowledged; but we both know it. The sad thing is, I'm not sure if I'll miss you that much. Shows how much we've drifted doesn't it.
Maybe it is time to move on. You have your life, I have mine. Our lives aren't even running parallel anymore. They're diverging.
But life goes on.
So yeah, have fun with your life.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
math pt please go away. 11:17 PM
I am totally supposed to be doing math pt now but omg i have no life. in sec 3 we have no life.
let me reiterate.
IN SEC 3 WE HAVE NO LIFE.
everyday its work pt work essays work fa work research work cca work rehearsals. i have no time for anything else. and this year i've been sleeping at like 1, 2 in the morning everyday. not. good. at. all. i have permanent eyebags it is SAD. and i think they're biased against the trip humans people or something all our exams were crammed into those few days. English geog lit on one day, bio ss hist on another. but WHO CARES IT'S ALL OVER because i have no physics data analysis on thurs nyeh nyeh but then MATH PT IS DUE THEN. ohmy.
- momentary panicking -
everything should be ok but i really need to do well for pt cos stats ppa was plain screwed. i totally flunked it man. need to work harder.
anyway, SO, MANY, THINGS, HAVE, HAPPENED. like sli! it was fun. i miss it. our performance may not have been super awesome but it bonded us and i had fun rehearsing and performing it. like sarah and her -slicks back hair- "I'm Rain. Use Clear Shampoo" and Lynn's "Good morning thank you and that is all" omg we were all laughing like crazy. and then of course our exams, where i crammed everything the night before i cannot believe myself. but then again i probably didn't do too well either. i feel so awfully irresponsible and stuff but the thing is we only have a freaking 24 hours in a day and its not enough D:
and founder's day! this year somehow or other we're having it on two days. friday and saturday. and it's in the evening this year. but Dionne deployed me as Ms Norris' personal usher with Sarah Siaw isn't that cool. so honoured.
and mygosh i HEART avemaria like A LOT. we had prac at vch that day and it was kinda screwed and all our pitching was disgusting and we didn't blend and all but the feeling was so magical and ms loo made us all lie down on the stage and close our eyes and listen to the piano. and vch brought back all those wonderful memories of syf in sec 1. ITSUKI. ohmy. itsuki has to be my favourite song of ALL. i remember crying on stage as we sang it, and how shiao yen looked like her heart was breaking while conducting. and how after that ko matsushita stood up and said "bravo" from the gallery up there with all the judges and gold with honours and all. itsuki brings back so many nice memories. my batch has, to bring it back next year if not i'll just cry. I HEART THAT SONG MUCHLY. even more than ave, actually. but ohwell ave is real pretty too.
AND I SHOULD TOTALLY BE DOING MATH PT NOW. I FOUND A LOT OF USEFUL DATA THOUGH I AM HAPPY.
i should stop shouting and this is an awfully long rambly unnecessary jumble of words you're better off not reading. i think i needed the stress relief. somehow hitting the keyboard helps to relieve stress.
SO I SHALL SHOUT SOMEMORE WHILE HITTING THE KEYBOARD REALLY HARD. I BELIEVE IT IS THERAPEUTIC FOR YOUR FINGERS. SO, GO HIT. (not on someone, but the keyboard.)
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMONE (and tim koh though yours was yesterday.) OLD PEOPLE.
i love this record, baby, but i can't see straight anymore; just dance.